Edit 1 (28/5 10.00pm): Added link to Yan Chao's post
SPA is over!!! Finally all that endless days and nights of memorising has come to an end! I won't burn my SPA notes as suggested as some, and I will certainly not join a "burning SPA notes ceremony" as suggested by Yan Chao. I will throw most of my self practices away except for the printed notes. Can serve as a very good souvenir for my kids lol!
SPA really sux when you look at it. Really test nothing but memory work. My opinion stops here. I cannot discuss anymore as our teachers wanted everybody to remain confidential about it.
It was slightly over a year ago that my "human studies" saga was started. And Yanyu was one of the two people I commented. This time sadly I would have to say, exactly one year later, I would have no choice but to do the same once more.
If you would have seen Yanyu's blog post
, you would have known about the anger she had about my message. I guess I better write something here as I dun really like spamming her tagboad even more. Chuen Hwee also commented
abit about it. Yan Chao just posted a brief outline
about it so reading his side will help too. Before you continue reading this section of my post, please read their posts and her tagboard.
So she claimed to hear that I said she was a "fail pretender" to Yan Chao. I dun really remember what I said to him but I think I said something along the lines of her "being too obsessed with perfection". So, she has the audacity to post what was a supposed SMS message targeted only at her to the public. Let me post the full transcript, for better or for worse.
Her first message to me was "When I say my results ain't good, I refer to 3 As for H2. So dun defame me when I say my results ain't good. I'm not Racing Car for sure.."
My reply was "Ooi! Why are u so worked up abt this??? Nvm what I say. U know something? I classify your study methods to be on the same par as . Its just that yours is not as intense as his. Although Im envious of it, I have nth to say abt it as it has shown results and mine doesnt. Besides, I would prefer if u dun go around saying how sucky is your results no matter how bad it may appear to u. It does not help those who are lower which most are."
Ok, she did not reply my message. But instead, chose to post her answer on her blog for the world to see. Also, dun bother asking me who Racing Car (RC) is, I will not say it but it should be obvious to some who is that. As to the defamation part, I'm not really sure if that stands as both of us are unclear about what I said.
As usual, when one writes an opinionated article like hers, its purpose is to sway the reader to her side and gain sympathy. Mine is definitely no exception although I do not need the sympathy part. So I urge all readers to take this into consideration
when you continue reading.
In the first place, I said "whatever I said" to Yan Chao for fun. I dun mean to hurt her or anything. Now not only was she not sure what I messaged, she publicly flogged me online! Then she just replied to my tag "shows how you guilty you are". Hell am I not guilty with what I tagged!
The first part of the message clearly shows how result-oriented she is. Its a clear example of how everything other than a perfect score in school is deemed unsatisfactory for her. She then compared herself to RC. I myself do not aim for triple As or the perfect score, I just want to do my best and enter my desired course. (I dunno whether her course requires triple As). Of course, I dun mind having it.
Chuen Hwee has already laid most of the groundwork for me so I actually have nothing much to say. In summary, he means that many students in Singapore (possibly includes Yanyu) simply only care about achieving the absolute perfect score and not the circumstances in which her less-than-perfect score was obtained.
One cannot take the Block test results and then feel so bad about it as it were the indication of the A Levels. My results is way lower
then her BCD/DE at BES/BE
. Yet I'm not fretting at the same level at hers nor am I crying as I know I did not put in my best effort. I know for sure (and I will make sure) that this will not be my eventual A-Level results. The block test was conducted when we did not have sufficient revision time, so it is in a way, a lousy indicator.
In reality, I cannot fault
her for having such an attitude. Its the way our education system works and its reward system that produces people with such mindsets. No doubt certain elements of this mindset exists in every student, but it becomes unheathy if one is overly focused on a single goal and neglecting other aspects of life.
Its natural to compare
to people who are better than you. After all, as the saying goes, the have-nots always admire the haves, and the haves always admire the have-more. Thats the reason why I envy her results and she compares herself to RC. This relentless upward-looking mentality has been credited many times by foreigners and our leaders for allowing us to be what we are today.
But the price we pay in the name of this progress is a sizeable group of a younger generation who place their entire mental stability on material results and qualifications they acquire. Then because we keep looking up, we tend to forget about those below us, sometimes making unknowing comments that hurt them.
I personally admit
I used to be like this. Its like the binary code, 1 or 0. The perfect result is the winner, the rest are losers, and there are no in betweens. But I have guessed I have ceased to have this attitude in the months I am here in JC. I'm just so disenchanted about this paper race that I dun set absolute-result-oriented goals for myself anymore.
I have my ambition, thats to be an "ethical hacker". And I will work towards it, whether its through the established routes or routes which I have to forge for myself, I will try my best. If I know I tried my best and still cannot achieve it, I will try once or twice more before giving up. I have accepted the fact that not everyone can get everything they want
in life. Its more than overdue for Yanyu to look beyond to the alternative instead of just mere results.
Its kinda funny how I can criticise her until liddat. Considering how much I emphasised days ago on her birthday
and the scandal situation
that she was my "close friend". And I have yet to receive any reply to my thanks for the card she made for me and her friends. I guess all of that does not really matter now, does it?
Labels: education, general